this must be read with an italian accent, preferably out loud!

one daya, i went to malta to bigga hotel. ina morning i go to eat breakfast. i tella waitress i wanna two pissis toast. she brings me only one piss. i tella her i want to piss. she says go to the toilet. i say you no understand. i wanna to piss onna my plate. she say you better not piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch!

later i go to eat at the bigga restaurant. the waitress brings me a spoon and a knife but no fock. i tella her i wanna fock. she tella me everyone wanna fock. i tella her you no understand. i wanna fock on the table. she say better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. i dont even know the lady and she calla me sonna ma bitch!

so i go to my room inna hotel and there is no sheit onna my bed. i calla the manager and tella him i wanna sheit. he tella me to go to the toilet. i say you no understand. i wanna sheit on my bed. he say you better not sheit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. i dont even know the man and he calla me a sonna ma bitch. i go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "peace on you." i say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch. i gonna back to italy!

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