funny pick-up lines

hey baby, why dont you sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up!

(do motion with your finger to get a girl to come over) if i can make you come with this finger, imagine what i could do with all five!

if i told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

fuck me if i'm wrong, but haven't we met before?

do you sleep on your stomach? can i?

i wanna use your thighs as earmuffs!

wanna play army? i'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me!

i may not be fred flintstone, but i sure can make your bed rock!

(offer guy/girl a screw) wanna screw?

ya know, that shirt is very becoming on you. but then if i was on you, i'd be cumming too!

the word of the day is legs, so lets go to my house and spread the word!

the only place i want to go is south of the border!

hey, you wanna know what i just heard about you? fuck me and i'll tell you!

why dont you come over to mine and we can do maths - add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and i'll multiply!

whats a nice girl like you doing on a face like this?

nice dress, can i talk you out of it?

so, do you want to see something really swell?

excuse me but is your last name gillette? cos your the best a man can get!

excuse me, do you give head to strangers? (no) well then, allow me to introduce myself!

they call me milk, because i do your body good!

i miss my teddy bear. would you sleep with me?

hi, do you want to have children? (assuming the answer is no) ok then, can we just practice?

i know milk does a body good, but damn, how much have you been drinking?

this valentines day, i really want you to know how i feel - so you better use both hands!

you can feel the magic between us - no, lower!

you will be on my mind tonight, but i'd prefer you to be on my bed!

i want you to know that i'm head-over-heels for you - and i know some other positions too!

i'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even further for that thing you do with your tongue!

you have 250 bones in your body, want another?

hey baby, can i tickle your belly from the inside?