there were these 2 old virgins who lived together. one says "right, i'm going out and i'm not coming back until i'm laid!" the other woman says "be back before 9 or i'll worry about you".

at 2 o'clock the woman comes home, goes into the bathroom and puts her head between her legs. the other lady comes in and asks her whats the matter.

she replies "it was 10 inches when it came in and 5 inches when it went out, when i find the other 5 inches i'm gonna have some fun!"