funny questions and answers - part 1

whats the difference between purple and pink?
the grip!

how do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
its not hard!

how is a woman like a condom?
both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick!

how do you circumcise a hillbilly?
kick his sister in the jaw!

whats the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
3 stone!

whats the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes!

what is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
sexual harassment!

what is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
about 1 a minute!

how are women and rocks alike?
you skip the flat ones!

did you hear about the new blonde paint?
its not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy!

whats the difference between a modern woman and a computer?
a modern woman wont accept a three and a half inch floppy!

why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
because breasts dont have eyes!

how do greeks separate the men from the boys?
with a crowbar!

whats the difference between a blonde and a brick?
when you lay a brick, it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining!

if the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
the little swallow!

whats a blondes favourite nursery rhyme?
hump-me dump-me!

whats the difference between erotic and kinky?
erotic is when you use a feather. kinky is when you use the whole chicken!

why do greek men wear gold neck chains?
so they know where to stop shaving!

what is the difference between medium and rare?
six inches is medium, eight inches is rare!

why dont men fake orgasms?
because no man would pull those faces on purpose!

what are the small bumps around a womans nipples for?
its braille for "suck here"!

why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
because most men are stupid but few are blind!

what does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't?
her belly button!

why do men die before their wives?
because they want to!

why do women have tits?
so men will talk to them!